I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
