I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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