I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize