I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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