no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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