youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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