Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
