I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
