I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
