I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
