Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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