Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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