I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
