I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
