Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize