oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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