sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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