The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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