You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
