Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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