I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
