You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
