i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
