Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
