he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize