not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
