Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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