I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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