dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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