question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
