her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
