Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
