a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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