This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
