U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
