Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
