there's paper in my vomit.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize