Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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