I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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