that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
