Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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