Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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