his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
