Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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