i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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