peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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