we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
