My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize