Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
its liver damage thursday
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
