Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize