That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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