I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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