Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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