take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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