so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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