we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
