u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
