; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
