Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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