she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
