hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
