You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
