I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
