The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
