Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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